1-month-affair

beentoolong

2005-12-07T08:38:00.000-08:00

greetings i haf returned after wad seems like eternity.
jus wanted 2 pen down afew tings n since its like such a rare occ dat im here sitting at mi com on a wkdae, mite s wel la.

jus made da trip down 2 town...all spruced up wif da not so impressive chrissy deco...
haha n i tink dis is like 1 of 3 times ive been 2 town on a wkdae dis yr...its bn too long...indeed...
attached out for 1 wk for some medical course so tings haf been realie cool...bein a stayout personnel for da first time feels bloody sheok...bookin out at 4 pm...bkins at 10 am...wad else can n army boi ask for la...dis is da closest 2 paradise n nsf wil ever ged..i bet im leadin n even more slaygay life den dose clerks rite now...its been such a surreal time..i feel like im on leave...on some short holidae...bud 1 tings for sure...dis is one much needed break..
cant imagine goin back 2 company line after dis...its gonna b a culture shock al over again...adjusting back 2 da hectic schedule n al da shit dat comes wif life in co line..
haha sorrie la...cant help torkin abt army...i mean...it is sorta mi life now cnsiderin da amt of time i spend inside.
da realisation of how quick dis yr has sped by has onlie hit me in recent times...where certain milestones represent memories i wil probly nvr forget..da taking of da red beret in early november n b4 dat mi 72km march...haha....its not dat big a deal admitably bud i gues its da amt of time n colossal effort n self-motivation required 2 finally achieve wad i haf in dis unit dat breeds a certain sense of pride in me...n i m so sure...dis process is makin me more mature n sensible in certain ways...realie...ive learnt much la....in terms of discoverin more abt miself...
n im proud la dat ive actualie managed 2 prove ppl n most imptly...miself wrong on so manee occasions thru da challenging times thus far...
ive learnt dat im far stronger physically n mentally den i tot i was
ive learnt the true meaning of brotherhood
ive learnt 2 appreciate da ppl hu care for me..esp mi parents la..i do c dem in a new lite now....n ive gained a new appreciation n admiration for how unconditional deir love is for me...
n mst imptly i now c da truth in da most cliche of phrases dat wn u put your mind 2 smtn..u wil achieve it...haha...i tot dat was such a load of bulcrap b4 dis....bud dis has proven me wrong la...

attitude + aptitude
nothing is imposs.
realie is a winning combi n i swear by it.

aniwaes back 2 da present...been gettin poked by evry sort of bloody needle frm evry angle....mi veins r gettin raped al over da place la....i was used 2 gettin dis shit during mi 2 mth medic course bcoz it bcame such a routine...bud da habitual feeling is gone n now its back 2 da icky feeling again...i jus hate da tot of a needle inside me la...its jus wrong man...haha..realie is....haha i haven iv-ed ( intravaneous injection ) ani1 for a long time so i was quite out of sorts wen i iv-ed mi fren todae so i screwed it up pretty bad la...da look on his face said it all...i went in wif da needle 2 slowly so i cud c his flesh ged sliced by da opening n ged stuck....n dn i sorta hadta rotate it n cut off da flesh n go in another direction...haha...it was quite sick la...n if u can picture it in ur head...goot for u..bud whenever i inject another person..trust me...i feel his pain evry single time....

it was goot being back in town tudae....checkin out borders...stealing munches here n dere...jus basically chilling...it alwaes feels goot 2 haf a change of scene frm camp la....refreshing is da perfect word....sigh...2 more daes n its over n back 2 slogging awae...haha...im sure dat at da end of dese 2 yrs il look back n sae...man...i did al dat...woohoo im goot...n il miss da times n blahblah like all guys eventually do...bud wile ur goin thru it....dere is onlie 1 tot any army personnel wud entertain n dats da ORD date...nov 6 is mine....cant wait....n 2 daes after dat its mi burfdae..how appropriate indeed....1 am....gonna catchup on a good read i jus purchased...

da best is yet 2 b
alwaes
HAHA

declaration of love

2005-11-11T19:55:00.001-08:00

i love no other girl but Elissa Loi Shiling
no one else compares
bt if da need arises for a comparison, all other gurls r but mosquitos
no one else stands within da same light dat my eyes shed on her
through dis rlnshp, ive learnt da greater significance of da word love dat condemns mi previous misuses of da word
no other girl deserves dat word 2 b use upon den other den mi beloved gf
in my eyes, mi Elissa is da epitome of beauty
she n she alone

ponder a ponder

2005-02-10T03:26:00.000-08:00

jus now mi thoughts were suddenly oriented towards da issue of mi studies....n its gort me quite worried....i can swear on mi life dat i completelee screwed up da a levels....n im 150% percent sure dat i wil seriouslee need 2 consider da option of gettin retained in julonk n wads more..da ultimate decision of whether i wil b given a 2nd chance dere does nort lie wif me...da other 2 options are escaping overseas wich i honestly find pathetic and retaking da As s a private candidate wich is extremely difficult due 2 da issue of army...n wads worse...im in commandos...so like bmt wil b 4 n xtra 6 mths....giving me hardly any time 2 study for wadever...i realise dat if u were a gurl...tings wud b much more straight forward for u during dis period...if u dun make it..simply retake s a prvt candidate n u haf al da time in world 2 study for it...bud army is realie a big headache in e case of guys......
its strange den wen i tink abt it now..it wud b quite sad if i was 2 gif up da chance of continuing in commandos for mi studies coz its like...i was 1 of da few chosen 2 go in....n its realie a wasted oppurtunity if i dun capitalise on it...however...wen u weigh your studies agst NS....dere is absolutely no doubt s 2 wich is more impt...your life in army wil simply last 2 yrs...bud your achievements in da academic field wil stick wif u your entire life....n in effect..determine where life takes u.....its quite a scary tot realie...2 end up wif no degree...s much s i wud like 2 agree dat a degree means nuthin blahblahblah....jus a cert...blahblahblah.....da reality of da situation is in dis screwed up country..wich i honestly consider HOME ( therefore erasing da prospect of migration ever )....a cert means evryting la...n i NOE dat...i mean....im nort gonna depend on mi father mi entire life....ive gotta step up n carve out mi life so 2 speak....mi fathers cash ezen gonna last 4eva...n like yes...cash is nort da most impt ting is life....bud hu can deny its obvious significance.......u wud b a hypocrite 2 sae it means nuthing.....
seriously mus consider mi options now n take hold of mi future...mus nort screw dis up 4 miself...hmmm...i shall drop in on koh soon....i hope he stil loves me...lalala...

sian

2005-02-09T20:12:00.000-08:00

its damn screwed up dat i shall b bookin in tonight n bookin out on saturdae again while da tekongers wil b holidaying until deir bookins on sundae....scandalous pieces of.....
wads dere 2 sae...hmm...army's been ok...undeniably its stil such a terrible chore 2 b in NS...its been tolerable....of coz u haf your gd daes n bad daes...bud at da end of da dae...so 2 speak..dey cancel out each other...n evryting seems...well...erm...ok...
discipline in commandos is so slack...i haven dune mi bed for wks....n dat is no exaggeration..i haven washed da toilet 1nce....i du mi laundey in washing machines n den throw it in2 da dryer nxt 2 da washing machines....hahaha...we ride arn in air con buses....half-ful ones at dat....compared 2 mi father's vivid descriptions of how torturous army was in da past..i mus sae...army is quite a breeze now la....IN COMPARISON la..bud make no mistake...it is no breeze...im gettin damn sick of da blardee regimental ways dat tings r dune here...i feel like im 1 of da characters in Handmaids Tale...totalitarian rule...blahblahblah...it realie feels lidat....wen ur in ns...it feels s though u lead a double life..n sometimes u ged confused s 2 wich 1 is da staple 1...bud i wil nvr ged confused s 2 wich is reality n wich is jus a horrible dream dat wil last 4 2 plus plus yrs........
almost died on mi 18 click road march on dat lovely CNY eve morning....n wen i sae morning...i realie mean da bloody morning...s in we set of frm dat piece of shit of a camp at 3.45 fricking am...i was half asleep for da 1st 2 km s in...i was realie drifting in n out of consciousness...its incredible...i kept falling asleep s i paced wif da rest of my platoon...falling asleep woking...new experience..a very dangerous 1 i assure u...dere were numerous pts in time wen i lost mi balance due 2 mi drowsiness...dangerous realie...it was onlie wen da weight of mi field pack..motherson of a rifle n mi FBO....started 2 torment mi shoulders dat i was awoken frm mi partial slumber....n da rest of da journey...was pure...TORTURE......buds like....im quite proud of miself 4 finishing it..coz many a time i felt like quitting da bloody march wif evry passing second...coz honestleee..da pain beared by mi shoulders n feet was excruciating....al da wae....bud dats 1 ting dat ive attained here la...greater mental strength..haha....i nvr tot dat it wud b possible bud army has made me a more determined person.....instilled greater resilience in me n so on so forth....
i gues at da end of da dae...army does make u a better person...wel 2 some extent la...im stil s heck care s ever abt evrting n discipline is stil a non-existent element of mi life...bud army does reinforce your values n yala..'solidifies' u s a person...so at da end of da dae..is army worthit...
150% NO

fall in

2005-01-21T09:17:00.000-08:00

Im sOOooooooooooooo extremely proud of miself for surviving dese 2 wks of confinement in da nort so lovely commando barracks....though da accomodations r fairly decent and we ged a sea breeze 24/7…..its da regimental lifestyle dat is realie unbearable la…falling in here n dere…marching evrywhere…no being able 2 exercise any freewill at all….n al da blardee physical training……1 word…SIAN…army is damn fishing sian…extremely….makes me relish mi skooling daes man…carefree n fun…wah….shit..cant believe I miss skool....n it sucs dat I cant contact Loi wenever I wan 2…evrting is dictated by mi blardee schedule…wich is generally packed frm dae 2 nite wif physical crap la….dammit……
I thank God however dat im in da commandos formation coz discipline here is much slacker den tekong in accordance wif da new commandos syllabus….bud da physical training here is much tougher den dat practiced in da infantry….here we run 12 rounds at a go…crayzeeeee munkeyyyyyyy………madness la….haha….ive been like sick for 4 daes of da 2 wks ive been here la…fricking fever….very persistant la dammit….bud al in al…its been survivable bud borderin on intolerable…..VERY SIAN…..
1 ting abt commandos is dat its most definitely n ego trip la in dat…dey kp reminding u how special u r…kp remindin us how commandos has no affiliations 2 da ‘girlies’ on tekong…blahblahblah…al dat commando hooha shit….of wich…I dun buy much of it…bud I ged wad dey r tryin 2 ged across…..i gues da fact dat dere r onlie 250 of us here…makes it seem pretty prestigious dat im here s part of da commandos formation…dat I dun deny….n da red beret is like…wow….i respect it la honestleee…its realie something else man…da amt of shit dat u hafta go thru 2 ged da red beret…mi sergeant tels me ppl break down n cry upon receiving it la…dats how much it means…haha….
Thank you God for giving me 2 wonderful platoon sergeants n quite lovely platoon mates …..arder den a tiny bunch of over-enthu constipated characters hu completely clash wif mi heck care da world attitude…I mean other den Elissa la.....da ppl here r rather decent…colourful characters…its al quite fascinating la….dat dae I wen home wif 2 arder guys hu live arn mi area la…both smokers…n wen dey booked out of camp...it was cigerattes first….n dey smoked awae in2 mi face la….lol…n we jus sat arn n torked abt smoking n al…n its like I wil nvr smoke la….die die also wun…I mean…I tink its retarded la…inhaling smoke….its like putting your mouth at n exhaust pipe la for gootnes sick……bud o wel..dey r decent ppl la…dey asked me nvr 2 smoke…n nvr 2 ged influenced by ppl hu smoke…haha…funee la…..nice ppl….
O wel…best of luck 2 al goin thru bmt now….though da programme is rather diff here n I understand dat u al r goin thru worst shit den me…stil…best of luck..stay strong up dere….s mi CO kps reiterating….’its all in da mind’

YAR RIGHT.

extension

2005-01-05T02:14:00.000-08:00

haha....tudae i checked mi enlistment letter n realised dat i m supposed 2 book in on fridae...nort tml s previously expected....lol....n honestlee...im over da moon abt it...at dis moment..any extension of mi period of freedom is much appreciated....woooohooo...
lol...after dat incident wif elissa yesterdae..i realise dat girls' fathers r terribly scary....overprotective tings.......lol.........i rmb mi ex's father skolded me b4 4 takin up 2 much of her time.....terrifying realie......maternal instincts in its ful glory.....
i was happily napping jus now b4 mi goot ol sister woke me up wif her crying....dis mus b da 3rd time dis wk....o....in 3 daes...wich means 1nce evrydae....no wonder ive nort been gettin much rest arn dis place......i shall go 2 mi arder house later n nap...terrible.....ZZZZ.....need 2 clock up some serious slp tml 2 prepare 4 da shit da army is gonna throw at me......haha...1 dae extension...realie means da world 2 me....HAHAHAHAHA...RejOice.....
lol..was torkin 2 fabien juz now...he told me dat Koh is offerin relief teaching positions in jj...how motherfricking sheok is dat la seriouslee...workin s a relative equal under 1 of mi goot ol teachers over ppl arn mi age...wah....fun la shit....at dis pt in time...i wish dat commandos wil juz kick me out n transfer me 2 da april enlistment batch........i wil realie b havin d time of mi life if dat happens...academics aside la dat is....i was tinkin abt commandos n how da fish i intended 2 ged thru it n i realise....da possibility of me surviving da 1st 3 wks of commandos is 5%......i haf no willpower wadsoever....n i du buckle excessively in overpressurized situations......i was tinkin abt 10 daes survival in da jungles of Brunei n how da shit i can possibly survive someting lidat wen a 3 dae camp on Pulau shit of n Ubin can plant suicide instigations in mi head.....da onlie plus of being in commandos is da damn pay n da fact dat i wun b goin 2 Tekong........o wel...we'l c how tings go....if da army can promise me enlistment in April...i wil quit commandos rite now....-_-
stoopid shit ns...come at da wrong time.......hungry...time 2 eat......
o....1 more ting.....i juz found out in recent times dat some ppl arn me haf a horrible side dat i never expected dem 2 haf..amazing realie......disgusting even.....stealing frm others is juz plain wrong.....i dun understan how u can live wif yourself doin dat.....n chronically planned grp thefts?.....jus die la.....freeks....

wonder wad da future holds

2005-01-02T09:34:00.000-08:00

al i can tink of now is army army army....hahaa....n no wonder...im goin in on thursdae...frick....at least i dun hafta go te tekong.....haunted shit of n island.....o wel..on 1 hand i tink army wil change me 4 da better n i feel dat its a needed disciplinarian course for undisciplined me....n yes blahblahblah....bud on da arder hand...im da kinda person hu cant take pressure.....stress...wadevar shit along dose lines...realie kils me off....dats da 1 ting in life in terrified off....P R e S s U R e.......haiyo...i realie pray dat God wil c me thru dese 2 yrs...wad nonsense..lemme rephrase...He WIL carry me thru dese 2 yrs...hai....budden if so.....y i m stil so worried..bud o wel...ive alwaes been 1 2 worry excessively abt evryting...jus dat i dun show it..haha...im nort s cool n composed s i alwaes appear 2 me yer noe...it realie is weighing heavily on mi mind...HAIYA...cant stand it....hurry up la...come n take me ns.......da wait is realie killing me.........
It'l b fascinating who i'l ged 2 meet in da army..dat...im looking forward 2 in al honesty...haha..all da ah bengs...da druggies...da faggots....da introverts...wadevar...bringit on....since ive been thru da jj exp.....ive taken n exceptional liking 4 meeting ppl frm diff woks of life....its realie enriching la wen u r able 2 c da world from al perspectives....sweeeeeet.......
haha...how i wish....i m 1 of da many goin 4 orientation tml.....so fun la jc1...no responsibilities...no commitments.....dunnit 2 du hmwk...dunnit 2 study....except 1 wk b4 promos....it was realie n entire yr of plae....365 daes.....24/7....plae plae plae.....plae plae plae....n den plae summore....i dun understan y ppl bother studying in j1 realie...i mean like....how manee yrs do u ged 2 relish s a 'carefree' youth so 2 speak.....jc is probably da last period of your life where u can truly bask in da glory of your youth and haf fun.....Uni wil b simply a shitload of studying....yea...dun understan dis studying in j1 ting....its realie wasting your fricking life awae....dere is much more 2 life den studying u noe....bud ppl....esp good ol singaporeans...r obsessed wif bein nerds...competitive nerds at dat....so...o wel...happy muggin...
haha...i rmb in j1....i wud juz sit thru skool 4 da sake of gettin thru it...sleeping thru lessons...chattin ceaselessly durin lectures....haha....esp econs lects...dose were disgustingly boring...i rmb al of us....me...kwan rong...fabien...n da bpians wil sit at da back n tork tork tork...bpians n deir fhm.......sam low n his sleeping......LOL....funny times......we realie suffered our way thru econs lects.....geog lects were ok la..miss lums ones were alweas amusing coz of al funny stuff she wud unintentionally sae...n her 'choose a partner...1 of u wil b A...1 of u wil b B' kinda ting....damn blardeee funee la......hahahahahahahaha........bud lum was goot la...i liked lum...bcoz she cares....dats wad separates a goot teacher frm a latimer....essentially teaching is abt nurturing students...how can u nurture a person if u dun gif a shit....mandy chengs lects were terrible towards da end of da yr....i recall her frequent pmsing adventures...dose were horrible man....scary...realie.........haha....n yes da squash courts...where we wud seek refuge...me fabien n farhan...hahahahaha....after like evry other lesson...squash squash squash........hahahahaha....bud realie la...jj was so damn boring...thank GOD...REALIE THANK GOD.....dere was squash...hahahaha....i bet ppl tot we were mad...da amt of time we clocked in da courts.....bud o wel...at least we were doin someting.....nort s if we didn ged promoted like da rest of dem eventually.....haha....suddenleee recalled da time fabien had shouting session wif da dm....dat freek..lee hee fock...wah..dat was da best man..i swear....lovely....dat basturd had been targettin us since da moment we stepped in2 da college...im nort saying i dun deserve it la...i noe im nort exactlee da most prim n proper person -_- ...bud realie..dat basturd is downright unreasonable...hahaha....i rmb him mistakenly assuming a teacher had skolded fabien for long hair..n da fact was fabiens hair was DAMN SHORT.....bud he demanded for his ez link al da same simply for da sake of taking it..stoopid fool...biggest mistake of his life...hahaha..fabien was in one of his screwed up moods...da tork-2-me-n-u-wil-f-ing-die kinda mood....bud da retarded old shit didn noe better....HAHAHAHAHAHA....i rmb fabien immediatelee shouted at him 'SIR...WAD HAF I DONE...CAN U PLS DONT GO ARN ACCUSING EVRY SINGLE PERSON U C OF TINGS DEY R NORT GUILTY OFF'....LOL......den it bcame a battle of saving face......i rmb dey stood dere shouting for 40 mins.....after assembly.....until da P came 2 intercede......i rmb fabien telling da old fool 2 'speak in english coz i cant understan chinese'....hahahahah.....dm was so fricking pissed n embarassed infront of al of da students..he kept stammerin like shit....he was damn fricking nervous 'disss.....dis....tisss...iss....a...er......mis...un...un.....durstood'....wich of coz translates 2 dis is a misunderstandin in normal human terms.....fabien was merciless la...dat basturd...realie shouted his head off...lol...disrespect at its peak realie.....den for some reason...da dm dragged me in....complaining 2 fabien abt mi hair....he actualie was defending himself agst fabien...its s if fabien had became da discipline master...n da old fool hadta justify his actions...realie.....damn funeee.......HAHAHAHahAHahA......den fabien said 'DIS IS MI FREN FRM ACS' wich is completeleee out of pt..LOL...'Y MUS U ALWAES PICK ON HIM.....WE R HUMANS..WE R NORT ANIMALS....U ANYHOW SHOUT AT US AL DA TIME....U TINK WE HAF NO PRIDE IZZIT.......SHOW US SOME RESPECT LA....'......i mus sae...fabien is amazing...n i rmb miss lum standing in btwn both dem infront of me....in complete shock n a state of supressed panic...hahahaha......she wanted 2 intercede bud i signalled 2 her 2 shut her damn mouth or fabien wud haf realie finished her off tugether wif da old fool.....den mr koh came down n inquired wad was happening den da old fool said 'heee....heee.....heee.....nooo....respect...mei...mei you lee.......mao'....da pauses were wen he relased his steaming anger...stutterin like shit......den mr koh...s alwaes...being da lovely person dat he is look at fabien n said 'mus call teacher -Mr Lee- ok'...den he pat mi back....tork 2 me abt some unrelated items...cracked some jokes...n woked off...LOL.........Principal of da yr...indeed...n da poor old fool...avoided us 4 da rest of da yr...quite poot ting la actualie...bud o wel..he asked for it...nvr disturb fabien wen his in a bad mood...i mean...hes horrible enuf in a goot mood...let alone a bad one.....
sometimes i ask miself...is being wealthy a worthwhile goal i haf set for miself in life....im nort sure animore....so manee other tings matter much more...its cliche la bud money realie cant buy u al da happiness u wan.......money cant buy u love...money cant buy u a close relationship wif God......im nort saying dat money is nort impt la of coz.....it is la...bud its imptance shud b put in2 proper perspective.......im alwaes thankful im quite wel 2 du so 2 speak......i m thankful u noe...i dun take mi cash for granted by any standards.....i realie dont...2 manee of u...it mae seem like i take it 4 granted....bud trust me...i m thankful......2 God for dat matter...haha....n sometimes i wish i cud put mi money 2 better use la...bud da flesh is weak....hai.......sometimes i look at ppl like bill gates n i wonder wad da f he is doing stashing al his cash......if he like donates a tiny portion of his billions....100s of dose 2 b exact...he cud alone discover da cure for cancer n aids la...dat freek......bud o wel...hu m i 2 criticise him....im nort exactlee da ambassador of da nkf.....
bud o wel...in al tings...God is good n God wil provide.......evry1 rmb dat...

whatever it is...mi best wishes 2 al la....
take care...even u latimer....

looking 2 da cross

2004-12-27T10:50:00.000-08:00

SEASONS GREETINGS...HOHOHO.....
nuf of dat santa shit....

hello al...i haf returned....lalala.......
niwaes i wud juz like 2 wish evry1 very jolly christmas..woohoo...hotttt...
been exp a mix of high n lows recently......nice break in KL...though i fell sick 4 quite sometime on da trip..n da food in KL is s goot s any food u wil find in ur anus....it was nonetheless a needed stay awae frm home..n evryting dats been goin on n al dat stuff....
Hmmm.....s army advances on al young gentlemen of da devastating age of 18.....im sure all of us share da common feeling of fear n apprehension of wad da future holds....im 98 percent terrified...2 percent excited....bud i gues wads been helping me cope expectantly is da many reassuring characters in mi life n da fact dat all mi frens wil b goin thru wad i'l b goin thru..wel..nort exactleee..since i wil b in 1ST COMMANDOS BATTALION...YES....better brag while i can...cause im quite sure i'l b kicked out in like..wad....2 wks?...yea...abt dere...o wel...we'l c how it goes...ive nvr been 1 for mental toughness....GOD...HELP MEEEEEE........thank gootnes dere wil b familiar faces like david fool inside.......i hope i draw him s a buddy...hmmm...bud i seriously wish goot lark 2 dat person dat geds me s his buddy...HAHAHAHAHAHA......he'l realie hafta du evrting....n if war shud ever come....if u ppl c a private plane soaring above n out of local territory s soon s da first alarms r sounded....i assure u......it wil b mine.....i make no pretense of dis matter..i m no Lim Bo Seng...i dun gif a hoot abt Sang neee la Utama or however u spell dat mats name....in other words..i m no fool -_-...i do nort intend 2 die for n overeducated..self-centered country....dat lends its unjustified ...unconditional support 2 da axis of evil....nort North Korea mind u...im referrin 2 da United States of Arrogance.....
Im worried abt da fact dat the world wil pass me by in army..dat ppl hu matter alort 2 me wil fade out of existence in mi life...Elissa.....o man.....haha.....Elissa.........Elissa..........yala..n da rest of u shits la.....i hope da army dozen change mi mentality or character much..dat is juz scary lar...stoopid brainwashers......terrible......i mus persevere......i mus.....correction...KoRrEctioN...I WIL....prevail above al.......THANK YOUR JESUS......
Christmas was fun...ate so much turkey....ive been feeling like one...stuffed n all....christmas spirit was dampened for awhile by a dear someone's pmsing....bud i was absolutely determined 2 remain cheery on dis special dae la...n i did...somewad...hahahah....church in dur morning...baptism..den family dinner.....den......hooheehoohaha........merry christmas la evry1...

'nvr let da future dictate the present....4 in da present..u alone dictate da future'
- Tong Wei Chuen

'get the hell out of mi sight'
-Latimer
poor woman....i wil nvr 4ged u =)

cheerios evry1....live da present n love da future

fall afresh, fall afresh on me

2004-11-22T07:22:00.000-08:00

'make a decision, move wif precision'
sometimes..technicalities demand 2 b prevailent
btw...prvt blog up...wil gif several of u cloesest peeps da add..
im tired
in more ways den 1

make the decision
move wif precision

i wan 2 complain

2004-11-19T07:09:00.000-08:00

Sorry but I must rant here tonight….no racist intentions r implied here….tudae..a temporary break frm the hell that e a levels so totally r came in da form of a movie at goot ol jurong pt…upon high expectations dat I cud finally sit back..relax...n reap some marginal utilities from the show…I took mi lovely seat in da nort so lovely cinema…s da show began…I realised…hmm…tings seemed abit diff..da ppl in da theatre were extremeleee restlesss..s though dere were red ants crawling up deir ass..constant gurgles of unecessay and deliberate laughter…permenant verbal expounding of saracasm..i gues dey found demselves o so smart wif al deir retarded remarks...gradually I managed to block out e external retardism s da show began…wen al of a sudden…n I realie mean al of a sudden…da fishing piece of minah sitting behind me…started making retarded comments of da movie ceaselessly…laughin at da show..laughin da story…repeating wad was said on screen like a firkin parrot...actualie..dis wud nort haf been a problem in da short run but she was a long run pblm….in macroeconomics terms..she was a severe negative externality…destroying mi marginal private benefit…refusing to shut her big mouth throughout da show..she continued hollering awae at n atrocious volume…spouting rivers of shit and streams of urinated comments out of her shitty excuse 4 a mouth…..n sadly…juz wen I tot tings cudn b worse…da malays in da cinema started echoing sarcastic comments in malay repeatedly n o so deliberately…s Singapore continues its progress towards a multi-racial and harmonious society….i hope n pray…al races wil corporate 2 make dis world a better place…thank you thank you....sorrie I had 2 rant..i realie cudn tarhan….

i cant take animore of dis shit

2004-11-17T23:29:00.000-08:00

1 more wk....1 more wk....1 more wk....1 more wk.......1 more wk.....

i wish i understood

2004-11-15T04:46:00.000-08:00

if onlie i knew wad evry1 was thinking

consider yourself diSmiSed

2004-11-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

i hope da a levels end soon..den we can all burn our notes n ged on wif life....screw dis shit...i need some fun........

18 18 18 18 18 18 18 18

2004-11-07T20:02:00.000-08:00

Happy burfdae 2 me =) I hafta admit….al da burfdae wishes frm al over da place cause mi ego 2 go in2 hyperinflation…demand-pull inflation…cost-push inflation…imported inflation……incomes policy…blahblahblahblah….econs is taking hold of mi mind…I wil soon c da world s a big fat graph…..
Hmmmm…..wad wud I wish 4 on mi 18th …. World peace?...bulshit la…wif America arn..we wil nvr accomplish aniting along dose lines…I wish happiness 2 all coz dis wil transcend 2 me..wuahuauhuhaa…..n I wudn mind if a money tree wud sprout up in mi garden...or 4 dat matter…I wud like 2 cultivate jefferys father in mi garden…certainly…he is n emblem of prosperity….
Its mi bdae n im down wif a fever..how farked up is dat…something is wrong wif me la..can nvr fall sick during normal skoo daes wen ‘required’….alwaes fall sick wen I can least afford 2…damn retarded…
1 yr older…wad dus it mean…nothing much la realie...except dat I hafta go 2 da stooped army n waste 2 yrs in preparation of defending a country dat can b demolished by 1/10 of n atomic bomb...hmmmm…bud I gues like 18th is like woah....its like ur stepping out of da carefree teenage yrs…quite scary….responsibilities are scary….in 2 yrs I’l b 20….imagine dat...n a yr after dat…officially n adult…mi gootnes...scary scary…I need 2 turn back mi biological clock…its happening al 2 fast...
8 daes 2 a levels…its amazing…I dun realie gif a shit stil…

Heres a checklist of mi priorities:
1) it’s a tie between God n my own well being -_-
2) Elissa
3) Cindy’s well-being
4) Mi computer
5) Latimer’s deterioration
6) Studying

Enjoi dat rumourmongers =)
muahahahahahaahahah

i wish Dapne Khoo wud shut up

2004-11-05T11:35:00.000-08:00

When all is said and done...I wonder…wad has mi life come 2…here I m s wad I m now... n I wonder…haf I made any mistakes dat I shudn haf….did I pass over opportunities dat I shudn haf let slip…did I live evry moment of life 2 da fullest…shud I haf treated dat person wif more compassion…shud I haf bothered being nice 2 dat person....hu deserves mi frenship…hu deserves a slap…du I haf any regrets abt tings I did or didn du….shud I regret…bud y...

Frustrated wif myself…yes...probably no1 wil ever come close 2 understanding me completely…I cant b dat happy bunny dat ppl expect me 2 b al da time…bud datz da wae I wan tings 2 b I gues…I live 4 others…I realie do….u smile…I smile…c how it works…its cool…I like it…bud da consequences of such are 2 much 2 handle sometimes…plus da As now…n im realie tryin mi best 2 hold da fort so 2 speak…been terribly moody bud I dun show it…ppl im nort promoting how noble i m..please..i m nort obsessed wif self-glorification..im lettin u noe dis coz i wud appreciate more sensitivity sometimes..spangkiew gentlemen...so s i was saying...i dun let no negative energy come off of me..ye geddit chummies...zzz...n I dun intend 2...however..I m onlie human…sometimes ppl expect dat im emotionally 'invulnerable' so 2 speak...wel..deres s much truth in dat s dere is in latimer being skinny….yes…mi cheery membrane is nort impregnable…repairs haf 2 b made sometimes..repairs 2 b made by U..nort me...lalala…im sorrie if u find mi allusions weird…I like dem…so f off…..hah…jus joking….zzz…f off….

I thank God dere r several arn me hu im able 2 share mi life wif..each n evry step of da wae…hu I literally trust my life wif…hah..manee of u wil b tinking…’dat sounds like me’….2 b honest..tink again...dere r quite afew ppl hu r ‘close’ 2 me so 2 speak bud I hold dem at a distance stil...weird…bud..its jus me…so..deal wif it…twalalalala…mi dear Grace…u r in da 1st category..dun evrytime complain I dun care abt u n wad shit….Muahahaha…..actualie I care 4 al u fuckers hu r frens of mine la…I dun exactlee express mi tender loving care explicitly al da time…bud…I du care…even 4 da gay simon huang...i wun exactleee lay down mi life for u…bud if ever 1 dae…I pass u by…n ur dying of thirst on da streets…I wil offer u more den a drop of water =)….2 drops…zzz…..Cindy…I noe u wil read dis sooner or later noeing how kaypoh u r…although I alwaes insult u ( I realie cant help it…u r so mockable )….i do love u…..bud its time 2 lose some weight…lalalalaa…I bet I wil ged scolded 4 dat...muhahahaa....evry1 matters 2 me la….sometimes..some of u mae tink ive forgotten abt u or I simply dun gif a shit abt u…b it bcoz I haven contacted u for sometime..or I dun seem 2 reciprocate wif da same enthusiasm da frenship u haf shown me…bud I assure u….i du care…4 each n evry1…I dun 4ged….more so if I hate u…I wil nort 4ged u…good ol 6th finger boi…I hope a 7th sprouts up =)….s fabien wud sae…frenship dae..so I shall move on……down 2 da Fairfield boi Samuel low…surprise…I mentioned u….although we r nort s close s fairfield n THE ANGLO-CHINESE SCHOOL (INDEPENDENT) are…I du look out 4 u…quite ironic la..considerin u tower over me..bud yes…its true….hmmm…..mention 1 more…1 more person…hu shall it b…Jerm...noe u 4 so manee yrs oredy...u shud noe mi love 4 u is undying la realie…now if u wud jus stop patting mi head….i wud appreciate it…….so ladies n gentlemen…da moral of da dae…is…..i do care…repeat it after me….wo kuan xin ni men ce xie pang sai…...pokes….bud on a serious note...i hope u reciprocate da same...some of u hu i m very close 2..noe dis...i share mi time wif u 4 a reason..dun take it 4 granted...please dunt.....

An enriching life so far.....lets nort stop here...no mistakes...no regrets...onward gentlemen..

Pokes pokes pokes

I wish I cud turn back time….i wud haf picked up mi books in july…I wonder....wen wil I fucking learn frm mi mistakes….n live up 2 expectations…o wel…I shud b like Anthony bourdain…travel arn da world…..eat eat eat….eat eat……eat….bud at dis rate..da onlie ting I wil b eating is shit….

JJC…..2 yrs…goot exp….yes indeed….worth mi time…yes…I believe so….worth da effort 2 socialise…certainly…..worth staying on..fuck off…..now dat ive been in jj…I tink ive like accumulated a ful spectrum of frens frm al backgrounds n of different personalities…at dis pt in mi life…n evry1…noe dis…U r APPREciAtEd…though some more den others..AHAHAHAHA……pokes pokes pokes….o yar....Corina…I noe somehow u wil find your wae here la….u haf been quite dear 2 me la u….though nort in da wae dat lump pit puan wishes bud….u r realie realie AppReciateD…I wish u da best in all endeavours…jj teachers….most dedicated bunch ive ever come across...though declaring dem s da most competent wud b pushing the envelope slightly 2 far….stil..i love mi teacher…Mr Ng for being so Ng…Mr Anand for being so fucking brilliant la..his intelligence is humbling 2 sae da least n his amicability is remarkable..bud wads best abt Anand..is..HE REALIE CARES….dats wad teaching is abt….if ur like lee hee fok…u shud juz work in a fucking barber shop n cease messing wif peeps…n ya la…so n so forth…al muh teachers….muh PpL....rEspEct ..indeed

Summary:
So…wad has da happy bunny told u tudae…:
1) if u r here 2 make trouble…fuck off
2) I love muh frens…so ppl..noe..u r loved
3) God loves us
4) Dere is no such ting s Buddha like Gerald insists al da time
5) Live life wif no regrets….dun let slip any opportunities..dun pass any possibilities by…everything deserves a 2nd ‘glance’ 4 dat matter…
6) If u r a nice person bud u hate cool ppl…jj is da skool for u
7) Humility…humility…humility…..

Actualie…dat summary was quite screwed up la…bud…u ged da pt…I hope dis entry wil suffice for this wk…its colossal I mus sae…njoi it u kaypoh freeks….=)

Last bud nort least…mi dear brudder Samuel..no nort u Mr teeeheee weeheee…da arder Sam..muh captain…wen u choose a gurl….da 1st criteria….-no bitChes-…ponder dat……quote mich…PEaaaaaaaaaaaCCCCCEeeeeeee OUUUUUUttttt….love love…Blessings all round…God loves all……

-Latimer…u tort I wud let u off…HAHAhaHAaa…-
-a shoutout 2 latimer hu I wud offer a drop of mecury if ever she was dying of thirst-

womans worth?

2004-11-02T10:32:00.000-08:00

.....tell me..what exactly is a woman's worth? izzit worth the trouble? worth investing your evrting? worth the heartbreak? think....

time 2 die

2004-10-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

So cliché…bud yet so true…2 wasted yrs..where I spent mi time digging mi own grave n now..deres realie no wae out…da critics were rite….i didn make it in da end….a levels approaching…ive sunk back in2 slack mode n da situation is byond mi control la basically…I wish miself da best of lark…I wil b needin it…
The a levels is like 1 fucking big obstacle dat seems impossible 2 scale 2 b honest..bud once uve dune it…the world of OPPURTUNITY is open unto u….if u fail...its da world of SHAME…zZZzzz…..so s I sit here wastin even more time awae….i wonder…wad happened to the conscientious n industrious character I was in mi lower sec yrs…I used 2 take pride in mi work in dat evry piece of work I handed up had been certified 2 b of the highest standards..by mi standards…n dere is no greater compliment dat can b attributed 2 ur work den dat frm urself….bud now…I hand up trash widout the slightest sense of remorse…indeed..dis is what we call…delinquency……
If I had juz dune dat little bit more…juz dat teeeensy weeeny lil bit more….during mi 2 yrs in jc…I m sure I would haf made da grade easily…it realie is such a pity la…potential wasted…bud its mi own fault…completeleeee…YET AGAIN….i wonder wen wil I ever come 2 mi senses….n realise dat da frase qin neng bu zhuo onlie works 1 wae…..intelligence is n imperfect substitute for hard work.....econs is driving me nuts…screw da A levels….wen its over....i wil b so ecstatic...i mite suffer frm chronic elation….EuPHOriAaaaaaaaa…….JOYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy….zzzz…screw the A levels……screw latimer….

sometimes

2004-10-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

sometimes i ged periods of depression for no reason....wel..largely no reason la...dis is one of dose times....so hot in herreeeeeeee.....

Lemon tree

2004-10-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

back frm skoo.....wil b stayin in skoo for 1 wk...amazing ezen it...da P has given me duh key 2 a certain room in skoo....MUahAHhaAHahAHaha......i shall b awae frm al distractions..com...teeveeee....blahblahBlaH....it wil b like Ns...ZZZZZZZZZzZZzZzz....nvr tot da dae wud come wen i wud b making julonk purong by place of residence....bud da dae has come...wahahAhahHahaAaa....i wonder if dere r any places in bOoN Lay 2 haf supper in da wee hrs of da morning....o wel....if da muggin is nort effective...its da end...of Me...MOehEeheehehe....siao.....

-shoutout 2 latimer...queen of pop....-
Boo poo....
r
e
t
a
r
d
e
d
m
o
o
d

to all latimers

2004-10-16T08:07:00.000-07:00

2 all critic(s)...pls..feel free 2 contest mi views wif logic bud pls..statements like 'fark off ac' r realair realair exemplary of your minimal intelligence...if u need help extending ur vocab 2 express your ful range of retardedness..u can alwaes acquire da help of the dictionary or u cud ged a copy of da hans vision software frm me...in order 2 express urself in da language wich u r most comfortable wif...i du understan chinese u noe.....

-shoutout 2 all children of latimer hu haf been leavin retarded msges...f oFf'-

help me help u

2004-10-14T10:56:00.000-07:00

I realize that s a person gedz older..he is much more appreciative of his possessions in terms of the various aspects of his life...wel..dats da case for me anywaes…
I realise dat dese 2 yrs in jc have realie molded me into a different person in terms of mi mentality towards havin any sort of purpose in life..and mi cherishing of social relationships on any level…frm dat of acquaintances 2 dat of close frens...for instance..soccer earlier in da dae...made me realise that the reason I relished evry sec of mi time in the game was solely due to the fact that I m 1 hu revels in companionship…of coz I du njoi the game aspect of soccer…bud it is the social bonding that constitutes much of the njoiment…realie…hmm…I realie haf changed……I used 2 neglect frenships and bgr based on their value s far s mi personal gain was concerned….wel..dat has realie changed…
I sauntered wif excessive arrogance in2 jjc wif the mentality dat I wud n completelee deserve to attain the respect of al other students solely bcoz of the Ac uniform…wad du I tink of dat now…POKES POKES pokes…..reality checks soon followed as I realie struggled 2 find mi place in a student body very much living a life very ‘diff’ den mine…n wen u consider da fact dat I was da onlie Ac boi in the arts faculty durin the 1st 3 mths…I tel u now…I was terrified of wad was 2 come…-_- Zzz…bud thank gootnes for certain ppl such s sam n mat hu socially saved mi ass n 2 mad women known as Yalan n Melissa hu thru mocking me....strangeleee made me feel…………………………….. more…..welcomed…ironically….dey didn exactlee feel welcomed demselves..hah..a goot though process dere…mi paper 8 skills r picking up…indeed…the departure of latimer has given me access to previously inaccessible brain cells in my head…niwaes…s I religiously put in effort 2 bridge the gap betwn mi fellow schoolmates n i…I gradually mastered the fine art of humility…4 wich…I m thankful…I treasure evry1 hu has made n appearance in mi life..b it in a starring role or one of significant insignificance…even fuckers like fabien….
I m nort 1 2 rant ceaselessly abt how life is fucked up n al dat shit…i haf alwaes devoted myself 2 optimism…n I believe that the realism of having onlie 1 lifetime 2 live shud b a goot enuff reason 4 evry person 2 adopt such a mentality…realie..life shud b lived wif no regrets….contemplate dat tot……………………………………………………………………………………………………I m proud of hu I m tudae…n how I haf evolved s a person…cheers 2 me….awww…bhb u sae..? f off…..

-a shoutout 2 latimer 4 no particular reason-

newbie

2004-10-11T07:55:00.000-07:00

Wow….im s blog savvy s latimer is frenleee…anywaez I dun gif no shit abt the other functionz other den being able 2 pen mi thoughts….
Studied the entire blardeee hell dae in skool…sometimes I amaze myself…I hope I wil continue 2 du so…mi onlie concern now is mi lit wich is realair realiar dying on me...n wif da present set of teachers dat I haf…I muz b honest…mi prospects in lit dun exactlee look sparkling …dis is bad shit...n frm the bottom of mi bitter heart...i wud like 2 tank latimer for mi overly evident failure to build on mi mountain of potential 2 ace this subject..someting wich the j1 teachers succeeded in doing…s far s im concerned….da j2 lit teachers slaughtered mi progress...hmm…latimer’s pet frase wen it came 2 holding a conversation wif me was ‘jus go 2 hell la tong’...ironic I mus sae...it wun exactlee take a genius 2 figure out dat latimer has more den justified herself s deserved of a mansion down dere…..infact…dey shud attribute one entire level 2 her….
Played squash for ½ hr tudae wif Kr…reminiscing the times evry1 wud stae back n plae squash after skool…whether planned or more often den nort..spontaneous...dey such carefreeeeee daes…heck care daes 2 frase it more appropriatelee where we didn needa gif a shit abt our academic performance…..lovely…lovely plovely….Zzz

-a shoutout 2 mi goot fren latimer hu is most definitely nort sufferin frm anorexia -
-cheers 2 Mandy Cheng for the excellent geog notes-

welcome 2 mi temporary ranting spot

2004-10-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

its blardeee 1.30 am now....n dese r da current new revelations in mi life...
1) dis 1 month blogging affair wil hafta suffice s part of mi destressing kit
2) i need 2 study more
3) i nvr tot da a levels wud come

n now..some thoughts...-_-
jjc is n interesting topic 2 begin wif 2 establish mi genuine stand on dis amusing educational institue...Da P....o.....i love the P marn....widout Koh....i mite nvr haf lasted for even the first several months dat i was in dis gosu jc...despite his radical ways and his highly inappropriate chinese proverbs...i believe he sincerely cares n indeed...has brought this skoo forward in evry aspect...widout him...dere wud b no bookshop..widout da bookshop..dere wud b no aircon during breaks...without aircon during breaks...i mite haf resorted 2 suicide....wich wud leave evry1 so distraught...dey wud cry a river wich wud flood the earth n end da world....wow...retardurd...
1 ting abt jj is dat it has undoubtedly given me priceless oppurtunities dat i wud haf nvr been given shud i haf been pursuing educational fulfilment someplace else....n yes...im specifically referrin 2 mi captaincy in squash...o yes..u can sae..wah..dats farkin senseless marn...capt of a cca in jj...woah..hu gifs a shit...well..it has been such a rewarding exp...coming frm me...i wud tink dats credible enuff considerin how cynical n so damn blardee heck care i m abt almost evrting...mi frens in squash..j1s n j2s...i dun tink i wil ever 4ged al of u guys...its wen u r immersed in the most farked up of situations that u appreciate those few positivities arn u..n yes...i tink jj qualifies 2 b considered a farked up situation in itself....wad a tremendous pity it was dat we wern able 2 fulfil our potential during the tournament season..bud i m soooooooooooooooooooooooooo farken proud of al mi team mates....for their commitment n effort n support...excluding fabien...it has been mi honour 2 meet u ppl...KooL..
The aliens that pace the corridors of jj...in arder words...the lovely student body...are actualie very nice ppl...i repeat...dey r very nice ppl...yes...very nice.....n realie..juz havin dem arn has changed me s a person...though i dunt realie click wif dem on numerous levels of communication...i tink in such n wae.....jj has made me a better person...infact...im sure of it...
n i wud like 2 assert here dat i m nort 1 2 look down on arderz bcoz dey speak chinese...contrary 2 o so popular belief..i dun judge any1 i meet in jj on how dey r brought up n deir financial status or wadevar shit...so pls..nvr ever assume dat i m some blardee snob hu sneers at evry1 frm mi heavenly pedestial juz bcoz of da acs background...unlike wad the arder ac ppl here mite claim..i assure u wholeheartedly...NO..i du nort tink we r superior 2 any jjcians....n we haf NO RIGHT....at all...2 judge a personz worth in accordance wif the fact he is frm jj...i du nort discern a personz worth by his way of life..even if it is completely different frm mine..evry1 is brought up in a different environment n hence...difference...that we haf NO RIGHT...to insult....on dis pt..i condemn the behavior of some of mi goot ol ac mates in jj...n i assure u...dey du nort speak for al of us.....rite fabien?....ZzZZzzzzzz.....i appreciate the completelee genuine frenliness dat numerous ppl in dis skool haf treated me wif n i assure u....da feeling of frenship is sincerely mutual...frm dose peeps dat im close 2 in skool like fabione; burdo; homan....right down to dose most distant of acquiantances...Zainal..MiQ...even certain J1s.....i appreciate evry bit of amiability u haf treated me wif...u wil b surprised...wad a simple wave of hands in acknowledgement can du 2 brighten up a peronz dae.....
Excruciatingly boring n bland...though it is...i wil b...surprise surprise...slightly sad 2 leave jj *cue*(evry1 tugether) - stop lying la tong.................zzzzzzzzzzz..........bud seriouslee marn..i wil b..deres someting abt leaving bhind a place that u haf suffered in..that compels u 2 entertain the thought of clinging on to the pockets of positivities that it offered u....arder den dat bitch frm hell ( i m so sure of it ) Latimer...im thankful for the teachers hu haf seen me thru dese 2 yrs..some of da teachers here...r in evry sense of da word -phenomenal-...i mean...of coz u du ged quite afew saddistic farkers like lee hee fok arn..bud...undeniably....there r several teachers such as Anand and yes...maybe Arthur Kok...hu r capable of teaching at the highest level....
DEFINITELY opposite to the life i led in Ac...jj life...though putting me thru mental torture...n for dat matter...physical torture wen i turned up for PE.....wil b difficult 2 4ged....4 dese very reasons...n yet...it has given me much more......
I cant sae ive enjoyed mi time in dis skool...dat wud realie b pushing da envelope 2 far....bud i m willing 2 disclose dat it hasn been all bad...
-a shoutout 2 mi goot fren latimer hu i hope is dying of chronic solitude at dis moment-
2 evry else reading dis shit....njoi my nonsense for a month b4 i shut dis down after the As.....itz a rarity that ppl ged a glimpse in2 mi world....s mich wud sae -PeAce out-